6 months on...

So, 6 months have come and gone in a flash, we've now been in Trinidad for more than 6 months.












We arrived to a lovely house, pool, garden, neighbourhood and have been very lucky to have been welcomed so warmly. They have taken us down the islands, invited us and the family for poncho creme, limes, making pastelles and invited me to exercise with them in the mornings!

Life is great, Dave loves the weather and social lifestyle, the friendliness of the people and willingness to include us in their lives. 'Liming' has become a household word and it just means to spend time with friends, usually with alcohol involved, food, snacks and just enjoying each other's company. Of course I do not drink much, if any, so stick to soft drinks and providing the food..... Kids have limes too at their friends, but no alcohol as yet.

I worry about the kids at times, that they are indeed missing home and their friends, and the freedom that they had. They show this in a variety of ways, most obviously by telling us, or their behaviour changes and they are just plain unhappy. We had a phase of this after their Aunt Karen and family and grandma left after having spent 3 weeks with us over Christmas. Alice and Jasmine shared a room as did Dave and Mitch and when they left, a huge chasm seemed to engulf them both.
Being children, and resilient by nature, they have both bounced back and are reasonably happy, but my instincts tell me, that they would be far happier back in the UK. School work is progressing well, Mitchell is a shining star and all his teachers love him, he is producing excellent work and is motivated. He's as sporty as ever, taking up table tennis and rugby here, going mountain biking. Football has fallen by the wayside as has tennis. As for the violin, that has been forgotten.

Jasmine too has finally settled in class and has begun to contribute more and be more chatty at school, starting to fiddle and sometimes letting her mind wander, but is producing great work and continues to progress. She is trying very hard at PE and loves art and goes to pottery after school which she loves. Music wise, school teaches her recorder, and she has said that she misses playing the french horn.
I feel really guilty for the sacrifices my children have had to make because we moved out here. Obviously, they are getting something in return for those sacrifices but I am unsure if it's like for like. They are getting an invaluable experience living in another country and all that entails but are missing out on all the things they could be doing back in the UK....I guess I should try to replace those experiences by involving them in sailing, Trinidad being an island steeped in sailing tradition, and surrounded by seas, it being an island and all LOL.

The one thing that has helped the children tremendously is having some pets, Lola , the kitten being the main pet, and the turtles Tato and Soup. Lola has brought much joy to our lives and we will endevour to bring her home with us, or take her to where ever we go next.

One of our objectives when Dave accepted this posting was to try to reduce our debt back in the UK, we seemed to be living beyond our means, despite us both earning a decent wage, we were still playing catchup for the 1st 2 years we were in Nottingham where we took a huge pay cut. Well, it has not happened, 6 months have passed, we have not saved a single penny! In some ways, we are worse off financially! We makes up for this is this is the lifestyle we now have, a 4 bedroomed house with a pool in the garden, my lovely big kitchen, a cleaner once a week for 4 hours, me, not working, well, not working for pay anyhow, being at home with the children, cooking elaborate meals, having peeps round for a lime etc etc.......

Dave, my darling lovely husband has come into himself out here. His self- esteem and confidence have boomed and about time too. I think he is enjoying his work just about as much as the lifestyle here, though as with most people, he could do with more time to do all he wants and has to do. I think he gets more job satisfaction now then he did previously. The stress levels do run high but this is counteracted by the good weather that we have here. This of course is all relative, for me, I'd sooner be cold than warm, and it's hot here. Dave though, loves the heat and sun, having grown up in England and where warmth and sunshine are lacking. Being white also has brought a lot of attention from the local female population, he's hot property being white and loving it..I have reminded him that he is mine though, not a possession but still mine! LOL.

Why can't I put pics where I want them to go instead of all at the top? Going to try something here, oh well it didn't work. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I have posted pics where I wanted to before in my old blog, I wonder why this one won't do it????

Dave's at the cricket today, 20/20 Zim V WI, at the Trine Posse stand, he will be having a ball, he's gone with Debbie, Malcolm, Rob, Jennifer and Enrique.... all inclusive ticket, fun to be had by all!

When you just know

It should actually say when I just know......

When Dave tells me he will leave work at 4 and get home for 5, I just know that he will be late.... I used to get cross, frustrated and angry, but now I don't because I expect it. They say expect the unexpected, but it's less stressful to expect the expected!

When my daughter tells me she will get her bag ready for school the next day, I just know that she won't and that I will have to remind her to do it again, and again and again.

When I ask my son to do something, he will say, I was just about to do that, and I know he wasn't but he feels it will make me think better of him and it does, which makes it work for the both of us. My son is an intelligent soul, he knows how to endear people to him which is a valuable quality to have.

For years and years I used to wait for Dave, wait for him to finish work so we could go swimming together, have lunch together, walk home together, go shopping or so I could give him a lift home. It's sounding like I did not have a life of my own and I spent my life waiting for my conjoined twin to finish work! All this waiting was planned, I didn't wait for him all the time, only if our work schedules matched. Planned waiting you say? Planned waiting? Well, the plan was to meet up and then do things together after work, but somehow, I ended up waiting for him to finish. I wasn't early, he was always snowed under with work.... and after 18 years, things have not changed much apart from I no longer wait. I just carry on without him and he joins us when he can. Progress!

Finding some space

Today, after a lovely meal of savoury pancakes for dinner, a dinner made by everyone in the family, I felt very tired and in need of some peace. I guess PMT is late this month. M and J were behaving well, lots of chatter and they were getting along, which is always lovely. I just needed a few minutes to myself, so, I went to my bedroom, only to be followed by Mitch, the cat and finally Jasmine, so much for me time... LOL. I explained what I needed and they left one by one leaving the cat behind.

Mitch has begun to grow up, first he asked for jeans, never ever wanting to wear them in the past. More recently, he's asked for boxer shorts, always steering clear of these, preferring briefs to shorts. Guess puberty's beginning to kick in and he's getting a bit self- conscious.

Jas too is developing, she has curves but is a bit apple shaped. I have bought her some training bras, but she's not keen on them. She's a pudding and pumpkin, beautiful but a bit overweight. She tends to shy away from physical activity.. we are working on that. Watch this space.

We all had some me time today, Mitch went to the beach with the McKays. Dave played tennis at 4pm, I went to yoga this morning, and what a class it was, am truly knackered. Jasmine had some time alone whilst Dave tried to set up the turbo trainer.

A new week has begun 553 days left in Trinidad.....

I have borrowed a book from Moksha that has some quotations that I like. Have been sharing them on FB.
This one has significance in my life right now,
Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit and resign yourself to the influences of each.... Henry David Thoreau

Showing off in Yoga

I was accused of showing off in Yin Yoga today. In Yin Yoga, fewer poses are adopted during class but are held for about 5 minutes each to allow the deeper tissues to get a stretch, eg the fascia, ligaments and tendons. The toe poses kill me every time, must start to do them whilst watching tv to improve. It is pure hell... you raise your heels, bending foot forward so toes are under, with knees on the ground, feet and ankles together, kneel in that position, then once the 5 minutes is up, you bend your toes the opposite way so now you are kneeling with the front top half of your foot pressing down to the mat. I struggle with this big time, but some of the other poses, like the hip openers are not so bad as I am quite flexible in the hips.

This lovely guy beside me could do the toes exercise, no sweat, no pain, all perfect! I was dead impressed. The other poses for him proved a challenge, I was ok with the quads stretches and that was when he called me a show off the first time.. all because I could maintain the pose with what seemed like little effort!! I was feeling it, and the discomfort was bearable, we were joking and laughing.

This is the only yoga class where conversation flows, the others are more quiet and contemplating and self- centred. I was slightly flattered that someone thought I was good at yoga, hehe, the ego in me coming out there. We joked and I called him a show off in the toes pose. Everybody apart form one other was suffering vocally. There were some of us in so much discomfort even our eyelashes were hurting.

I must add here that I was not showing off in any way, I was pushing my body as I had not been to yoga for more than a week and had hardly done any practice at home. The last 14 day challenge I did, I missed out on 3 days due to work and one day, I just was too tired. I was quite proud of myself nonetheless.

I love all yoga, hatha, moksha, moksha flow. I love the workout I get, and I think I am getting stronger. I sweat like a pig in class, which I am supposed to do, which is good, but I actually hate sweating lol. I think yoga has made a difference to my life, I feel a lot more calm, and strong, mentally as well as physically. The children and Dave will probably I say I shout just as much!!!

I Love Yoga, It Rocks, Yeahhhhh babyyyyy . Am posting a pic of me doing yoga on the beach at Maracas

New Life

For 20 years, since leaving home I have been in the Health Service, first as a student nurse, then staff nurse, student midwife, midwife for 6 years, then a very short break, branched out into survey nursing, still working for a non- profit organisation, then back to nursing, in primary care for the last 6-7 years. My last post as advanced nurse practitioner was the most challenging, being autonomous in my practice, after qualifying for my non- medical prescribers certificate and also embarking on a MSc in Advanced Clinical Practice. I did not complete the masters, but learnt a lot from it and it enhanced my skills immensely.

Less than a year later, I find myself as a housewife! I feel those skills slipping from my fingers.....

I have channeled my energies into other things though, mainly looking after the kids, Dave and the house, and now the pets too, hehehehe

In years gone by, I have always enjoyed cooking and having people round for dinner, but since working more and having children, that all fell by the wayside, cooking became more a chore than a source of enjoyment.

I feel now like I have come full circle, am cooking more traditional Chinese foods and also the usual staples I know the children will eat! We have had several dinner parties and the neighbours have been able to sample the delicacies I churn out in my kitchen..... Having a lovely kitchen to work in help sooo much, LOL.

I am baking again, making bread, cakes and cookies, much to the kids delight. Am also experimenting with the local veg and cooking the callalloo and making pastelles.... It's all good, hope I don't get too fat!

Kids Carnival

Some pics from the children's carnival. One of Jasmine's friends was taking part with her little brother. We went to watch 13/2/2010. And carried on chipping down the road with them... was great fun. Amazing costumes, the yellow pui and pink pui trees, the waves and the girl in the gold depicting the mud volcano...

Carnival 2K10, Trinidad.

Sooooooo, I have heard about how great it all is, how I should play mas, I will have the time of my life etc etc. Well, went to see it today and guess what? I wasn't so wowed as I thought I would be....the players in the different bands and sections in their lovely costumes parading the streets from the Savannah, walking close to the huge trucks that had massive speakers pumping out the soca beat for the revellers to chip along the road to, palancing down the road, palancin, palancin... I didn't sense a happy atmosphere, not many were smiling. It just struck me as odd! This is the one thing that Trinidadians all look forward to, a great time, palancin, loud music playing, food and drink flowing....

Perhaps if I was playing I might have felt different... nothing like taking part to get into the carnival mood.... we'll see, watch this space.

why, oh why?

I'm an idiot! Grrr and arghhhhh! let sleeping dogs lie, I will from now, ball's out of my court!

Letting go

I admit it, I bear grudges, I know I shouldn't, and should let things go, resolve and move on.... I try but sometimes fail. why do I let people upset me so? OK. I will let go, it is a waste of my time which should be spent on making myself happy, finding that inner peace. Therein lies the contradiction, how to find inner peace when there are issues unresolved??? Ones concerned have resolved them and moved on, I should be more thick skinned and move on too. If people are worthy of my time and love, it should be given unconditionally. Does unconditional love exist? I need closure on this, what a cliche, huh? That is what I need in this issue and then I can move on, because that will be the best for me, and never to let it resurface to damage the relationship again... be more thick skinned, give less, build some defences and do not allow myself to be hurt again....I am worthy, a good, kind and loving person, beautiful inside and will not let anybody tell me otherwise....

When friends forget you exist

There are times in life when I feel as though my friends have forgotten I exist... in most cases, the friends which are true friends, the ones that will come no matter what time I call, will never make me feel like this. I have friends whom I don't speak to for months on end, but I think about them and they me and we just catch up now and then and pick up where we left off.

There is another category of friends, the ones that befriend you because you are interesting, something fresh, the friendship develops and you get along fine... you get from each other as much as you give. The relationship is good, you have fun, you have someone to talk to, someone to bounce ideas off, another opinion. The balance then for some unknown reason shifts, and you slowly realise that that friend now is distancing themselves. You let it pass, everybody needs space. Time goes on, it's still the same... is it the end????

Jump Up at Maple Leaf International School

The kids had a jump up at their school today. Jas was doing a tribute to Marcel Montano and Mitch- Bob Marley. The costumes were great. Jas was a red ant and Mitch a rasta. The kids all had a fab time dancing and prancing to the music.

A lovely evening

Just had the most pleasant evening with the family. Dave was home early, we went walking together and ran the last 50 yards home.
Dinner was served, all lappies off and all food consumed. Then we all sat down to a game of Rummikub apart from Mitch, who sat with us playing on his lappy. Was a good game, Dave won.
I was accused of not reading to the kids as much asd I said I was going to, so made an effort to read a Roald Dahl short story, The Boy who spoke to animals to them, the funny thing was the story was set in the West Indies, where we were! Well, the story was set in Jamaica, but that was close enough. I wonder if Raold Dahl ever visited the West Indies as the locals' use of the English langauge in the book is a bit posh! Stikll, it was a good start, I have not finished reading the story as yet.

The kids love me reading to them because I do not drop off like Dave when he reads to them, and I also try to make the book come alive by using different voices and accents for the characters in the book, it's my chance to show my acting skills..hehehe
The story is about a boy who rescues a turtle that was caught by a fisherman and sold to the hotel manager for food and it's shell. The story was first published in 1945, so I guess they didn't realise then that turtles would be endangered in years to come.

I asked the kids what they would do if they saw this happening in a hotel we were staying at whilst on holiday.....Jasmine said she would hit the fisherman, Mitch said he would let the turtle go, as he loves turtles. I think we may have succeeded in instilling some wonderful qualities and principals in our children.

I have eaten turtle myself and turtle eggs as a child. We didn't know then what we know now and I hope it's not too late. The Chinese will eat any animal that moves and some animals are a delicacy, like turtles, shark's fins etc etc. It doesn't make it right though. It's the year of the Tiger come 14/2/2010, and the thought of Chinese hunting tigers to then use parts of the tiger to improve men's virility sickens me. Education is the key as is communication.......

Lola

The newest family member. She arrived about 10 days before Christmas 2009, at 11.30 pm, mewing at our back yard. We were liming with a friend at the time and feeding the mossies.

Dave took one look and her and that was it I think, we were adopting her. She was a gift from Santa and we could not refuse a gift from Santa now, could we? The problem was, we are in rented accommodation and our landlady has said no pets! We fed her and kept her out of the house til we spoke to our landlady. Mitchell and Jasmine was so happy to have a kitten at long last.

In all the years in Nottingham, in our own House we were not allowed to have a cat, because I was allergic to some cats and it would bring my asthma back. Holley our last cat made my asthma worse and also affected my nephew and brother in law and as they lived in Beeston as well, we decided that we could not have any cats in our house. The other reason was of course when we went away, we had to find someone to care for the pets!!

I was surprised at Dave, for starters, as we got more attached to Lola, the harder it would be to leave her behind when we leave, and that was in 19 months!! What were we thinking of? In addition, we did have some pets already, the children had wanted turtles for christmas and we had got them 2! So, in that one week, we went from no pets to 3 pets!

I must say, the joy the children have had out of Lola is immeasurable and she is lovely and fun. Life with us may not be what she's looking for though, she has had her vaccinations, been spayed and been showered twice, once cos she fell in the drains,and twice because she had caught a cockcroach and massacred it and Jasmine didn't want her smelling of roach!!

Waiting for Dave

It's now Wednesday evening, Dave is due back tonight from Anguilla. His plane is scheduled to land at 8.30pm and I can't wait for him to be home. It has to be said that I do not mind him going away so much, and it gives me a break from cooking separate meals and tidying up after another person. The kids too have not really missed him much... and I am wondering if we could survive in the UK without him whilst he carried on working here in Trinidad. Jasmine has just said the house is quieter without him as nobody's shouting!!! But.. I am the shouter, how has it now transpired that Dave is the shouter??? Is it the grumpy old man coming out in him??? He's dad in him? Or me, transferrance?

Why do I have to analyse so much? What purpose does it serve? Does it make me a better person, trying to understand why we do things? All part of self awareness? Will I learn from it? Or am I just torturing myself and filling my head with critical thoughts? Why all this thinking? Would it be better if I was an air head, no thoughts at all about anything? Well, preconcieved ideas? Be open to anything that comes my way and just let it be???Accepting things for what they are and not reading into anything... not thinking that every action has a motive behind it? Do I do things with a motive behind my actions? What is the motivation for people's actions?

Argh! Too many questions... will just let it all stew and see what happens....

Cultural misunderstanding

The other day, I was talking to one of my neighbours, she was telling me about her health concerns and the conversation then moved to how she was alone, and has been for 4-5 years, and that her family was spoilt and there was so much to do......

I was surprised and expressed my sympathy, touching her arm in a gesture of warmth and kindness. I thought she was telling me she was a single mum, and had the family and home to look after on her own.

As the conversation progressed, it dawned on me, that by being on her own, she meant not having a full time housekeeper. She still had a housekeeper twice a week, but she was retiring and she needed another to do her ironing! Let me explain that most caucasian local families here have full time housekeepers, whether the women work or not, the hired help come from 9 til 4, Mon- Friday. The house keepers do all the housework and some cook. They may also have help that just do the ironing

Life on the island is so far removed from what I'm used to in the UK, I thought she was divorced or widowed!!! Not that she had to do her own housework....... I've been doing my own housework since I was old enough to wash the dishes... perhaps she was spoilt , rather than her children, and surely they are old enough to help around the house, but maybe, as they have always had hired help all their lives, its become a hardship to tidy up their own mess!!!!!

If these people moved to the UK, they would have a rude awakening, and find that their quality of life would be seriously lacking....unless they were willing to pay for the help they needed, and it would cost more than it did here.

First post from Trini!

9/2/2010
Started this blog but now got to chat to Dave, who's away in Anguilla. Will continue this tomorrow!!!