No longer in the windies

The last few weeks has sped by without leaving me much time to think, which is good as I am a thinker if nothing else. Sometimes I think so much I actually end up not doing, but only sometimes and then only very occasionally!!!

We have left Trinidad, and so the Island Life in the Windies have come to an end. There was much to organise and do before we left. We had to pack, decide what we were shipping to Canada, what we were giving to charity, what we were taking back to UK, what we were leaving at Claire's in Toronto.... sell the Matrix, tell school we were leaving, look for somewhere to live in Toronto, find the kids a school there..... the list goes o and on..... seemed endless...I was in denial, mostly ignoring it all and burying myself in scrabble and bejewelled!

Our time in Trinidad was cut short by 13 months, my time was thieved away! The kids were happy to leave, Dave too was happy to leave, pastures new awaiting us in Canada. I was sad to leave, I had made many good friends in Trinidad and was not ready to leave them all behind. I have often thought that the dust that had just settled was being blown up again, by another storm. Our lives in Trini was just moving along nicely, nice social life for me and Dave, the kids having made a friendship base, that too was true for me. I had my friends from the Asian Ladies Club, my wonderful neighbours, who were so helpful when I was trying to sort out the Matrix and was without a car for several days, Tricia, a fellow ex-pat wife, who had come to Trini the same time as me, a wonderful friend and who was also leaving to go back to Glasgow with her kids. Not to mention all my other trini friends that weren't neighbours. I felt like I belonged and I haven't felt like that for a long time.

Selling the car was a hoot in the end. It was getting close, it was our last week in Trini and we still hadn't sold the blooming thing. In the end I rang some numbers that I had got of a local newspaper. I disregarded the first call as I could hardly understand the man at the end of the line and he was asking me why I was selling the car if there wasn't anything wrong with it! Told him I was leaving the country. The 2nd number lead me to Frank who said he would pay TT30000, which was a bit lower than what we wanted but thought we had better get rid when we could, taking our money and running as it were.

Anyway, off we drove towards Couva to meet Kev, plan to meet in Point Lisas at 9 am. We were early and so went for a coffee at Rituals and breakfast. Dave had rung Nigel, one of the drivers to see if we could get a lift home should we sell the car. He said to call MP to confirm this. Anyhow, time was moving on, 9 am came and went and we were wondering where Kev was. Dave called him up and asked him where he was. He replied that he was at the bank!!! We were both incredulous, what was he doing at the bank??? He said he had some banking to do and would be with us. Dave said, well, be here by 9.30 or we would not wait. The reply was , oh? ok in a rather confused voice. Dave then had a thought, he quickly looked back at the call log only to discover that he had rung Nigel up and not Kev, no wonder he was at the bank, he was running company errands!! And was not coming to buy our car! Dave then rang the right number and Kev said he's be with us shortly... next was Nigel, Dave apologised for the tone he had used with him and Nigel said, I did wonder what on earth was happening and thought he had forgotten something!!!

To cut a long story short, we went to the bank, got the managers check, then went off to deposit the check to be told it would be 4 days before it cleared, when we had already left!! So, back to issuing bank to get cheque cashed, but we did not have the right ID , so back home and then back to bank to get cash out!!! We did get our money in the end.....

Our departure was uneventful, had to pay some excess baggage and the flight uneventful.... to Toronto.....

Thus comes to the end of our island life in the windies... and on the a new blog.... not sure what it will be called yet......

Toronto here we come

Two posts ago, I mentioned going to Canada, and indeed that is where we are heading next.
So, off to the Canadian High Commission, VISA needed as again, I hold a passport that requires a VISA to visit. Why oh why, did I hang on to my Malaysian passport, why oh why, did I not get British Citizenship? 2 reasons, one, Malaysia does not allow dual nationality status, so I would have to give it up to have a British passport. I don't really want to give it up as my parents are in Malaysia still. 2, a silly reason born out of my insecurities. Let me explain... when Dave and I first met, he had told his family about me being chinese Malaysian, and one of the comments his brother made was, 'Oh, be careful she's not just going out with you in order to get a British passport, so she can stay in England!!!' He probably said it in jest, but it rankled me all those years ago, and I remain Malaysian to this day.

There must be a more efficient way to obtain a Visa for Canada... I made 4 trips to the High Comm in order to obtain it. I waited longest at the first visit, where I had to hand over my application form,passport, supporting documents and receipt for payment of Visa. I was very fortunate that day... we were in the queue waiting to get in, and the queue snaked round the pavement to the entrance of the immigration department. I chatted to other people in the queue to while away the time.. an elderly woman and her friend walked up and tried to jump the queue... we were all very polite and said to her, there's a queue. She had bad knees and needed to sit,she said, so edged her way forward in the queue to where there was a culvert where she could rest her painful knees. We carried on talking, her friend was very apologetic and embarrassed but we just said, it's OK, no worries. The said lady then moved her was up the queue and now was at the front, and others were beginning to get irate at her behaviour as they had been waiting a long time to get in. I made light of it and said, let her go, she's in a rush, her knees are hurting and she's elderly... some sucking of teeth were heard but we let her be. When I finally got in, I was told that I was lacking one form they needed, and also a photograph!!! The photo was unforgivable, I could've kicked myself for forgetting the photo! The website wasn't very clear about the forms. I had already been in the queue for an hour and a half and so was feeling down and stupid for not having the right documents and the required photograph, when someone behind me said, I have some extra, would you like it!!! I could have kissed the man... but that would have shocked him, so I refrained, hehehe. The security guard told me I had time to get some photos taken around the corner... luck was on my side, I was already mentally preparing myself to return another day to queue up again! I did get my photo and returned to sit and wait to hand in my application. I felt that a good deed had been repaid, letting the lady with the bad knees go first, I was showed kindness myself, loving kindness does really work. Moving along, went back the next day, shorter wait, no Visa, needed supporting letter form Dave's employers and also bank statements, they think I have no money, and they would be right, and want to go and stay in their country illegally- they would be wrong! I wouldn't be going if we weren't asked to go!!! So, another trip to hand in letter and a week after it all began, I queued up for the fourth time and got my passport back with the Visa in it, multiple visit Visa but only valid for 18 months.... it cost CAD150, TT- 955, £110 for an 18 month visa, the US Embassy granted me a 10 year Visa for less money...............seriously considering becoming British!!!!!

We are now leaving Trinidad, a week earlier than expected. We have nearly packed everything apart from clothing, the laptops and paperwork. Shippers have come to assess what we have to ship, school have been informed in writing about kids leaving, landlady and estate agents told about our imminent departure. Told the gardener yesterday and he said, Awww, hope the next tenants will be as nice as you.... Our housekeeper too is upset about us leaving, we have really got along well, and I will definitely miss her help, we have interesting discussions and she has become a friend....

I went to the supermarket this morning to pick up a few items, the queues were long.... I have learnt to be very patient in this country. The pace that people do things is painstakingly slow. Laid back pace, no need to rush, hurry or be stressed about anything like customers waiting. I wonder if the population of this country has the lowest rate of hypertension in the world???? Customer service almost doesn't exist here. Perhaps their point of view is this... we get paid on average £1.50-2.00 and hour... we get paid this no matter what our productivity.... the customers want what we have.... if they have to wait, they wait because they need us to get what they want! Perhaps I am being cynical...... let me illustrate this with something that happened at the supermarket checkout today.

I was nearly at the front, a French lady was in front of me, she had arrived in September, accompanying her husband who works for the UN here. She had some items that needed weighing at the till. The scales were not working. The girl at the till was flummoxed and had a fed up expression on her face, luckily she had an assistant helping her, a bag packer who also was senior to her. She carried the bananas to be weighed at another till. She said to the girl at the till, TT6.76 and enter it as food produce. Girl at till... no reaction whatsoever, still looking at the broccoli and cantaloupe melon on the conveyor belt that needed weighing. Meanwhile, queue behind us getting longer, everyone patiently waiting, or impatiently, I could not tell. Girl at till still clueless. Assistant comes back and said, you entered the 6 something I asked you to? Girl, 6 something? I piped up and said 6.76 for the bananas. French lady says, you know in Europe, if scales not working, you would just be given items for free so as to not keep customers waiting.... I said, that would be nice, she said, perhaps they will do that here, and I said, they wouldn't we would have to be patient! So girl enters 6.76 and says there's 2 other things to weigh... assistant says, we'll move tills after this customer. I persuaded the girl to cash my items as none of them needed weighing. This is one thing I will not miss about Trinidad........ poor customer service.

SS Uprising

It's countdown time and we only have a few weeks left before we leave Trinidad for good, 37 days to be precise. So much to see and do before we leave. We are trying to cram in everything now, trying to fit it all in between school, work, visit to Toronto and of course the dreaded packing. Not to mention the kids wanting their friends to all come for a sleepover. I am running out of weekends!!!! Still to see the turtles- doing that next weekend at Grande Riviere, Dave still to go diving, not sure if that is going to happen!

We were treated to a lovely performance at the Queen's Hall on Saturday. The Lilliput Theatre was performing their annual school performance. We had gone to see Adunni and Orishola perform, Adunni being Jasmine's best friend here in Trini and Orishola's Adunni's younger brother. The performance was called SS Uprising, and it was loosely based on Moby Dick I think, but never having read the book, I don't know, maybe this should spur me on the read a few more classics. The play was performed mainly by the older children. There was a sea captain and his crew, Captain Nakked? He was meant to be Scottish and the girl playing him had an almost perfect English accent. As the Lilliput theatre was attended by kids of all ages, the main play was interjected by short dance performances by the younger children, all dressed in sailor costume, some more elaborate with carnivalesque masks and headgear.

The dancing by some of the older children was modern contemporary and I saw a lot of yoga and Pilates in the moves, LOL, it was also very Ballet Rambert, looked effortless and graceful with clean lines and interesting formations. It was not all modern though, there was a flavour of the Caribbean in the dancing throughout, a bit of winding, palancing and chipping.

All done with flair!

I have nearly forgotten to mention the singing, and there was a lot of that too. I particularly enjoyed the rap the kids sang as they introduced themselves, as crew and mates of SS Uprising. The captain was a mean guitarist and did a solo rendition of The Proclaimers' 500 miles, but changed it to fit the play, "and I will sail 500 miles, to catch that whale" LOL.

Here's a write up from the Express Trinidad and Tobago.... I have no other pics as we were not allowed to take any pics or videos of the performance.

practice makes perfect: Members of the cast rehearsing for the show. -Photos courtesy Lilliput Theatre

Out on the open ocean, in the middle of nowhere with a seemingly mad captain and a sense of trouble brewing, the crew of the SS Uprising shipped out thinking themselves whale-hunters, but are now about to discover the rest of their surprising story.

When their captain finally reveals himself after days in seclusion, the crew is already uneasy; at sea since hoisting anchor with no leadership beyond an unstable first mate, they need direction. The captain appears, but the sight of him in this state does nothing to calm their fears.

Tensions already run high with the third mate jockeying for a more elevated position and the first mate on the edge of losing control. Lower down the ranks are whispers of trouble, of dark forces threatening to capsize the Uprising if on-deck battles don’t sink her first. This motley crew of wanderers, warriors and fugitives may depend on each other for life and limb on the water, but each brings personal baggage on board, even those trying desperately to leave it on land.

When the wild-eyed captain tells this crew what they’ve truly shipped for, what his secret desire is, what their mission is, will the first mate press mutiny?

Does the crew know enough of their fearless leader’s shrouded past to foresee their future if they follow?

Does the captain offer enough reward that drunken sailors don’t care?

As they close in on their elusive prize, the last thing the SS Uprising needs is the storm rising around them

Lilliput Theatre’s SS Uprising brings different histories together, placing traditional sailor mas at the centre of a classic story. The young performers inhabiting this crossover world tell tales of dreams versus obligation, expectations versus reality, exploring what drives them and what it takes to make it on the sea.

-Elisha Efua Bartels

Mitch and Jas came along, and Mitch was prepared to be bored, but he amazed himself by enjoying it so much he posted something about it on FB! The sound and light effects were good, thunder and lightning and the music. The musicians made the play come alive....

It's also election day here today, Vote for Change, I hope the Trinidadians vote wisely and that true democracy rules!

Eating mangoes in the pool

It's mango season and Dave brought home some mangoes from the office orchard last Friday. It was a carrier bag full of small ripe mangoes, smaller than the starch mangoes, with instructions from Ram on how to eat them. You bite a hole in the bottom and just suck the juice out! So, we did just that. I also started to eat the skin, as I had eaten mango skin on unripe mangoes before. They were lovely but messy, eating them like that, juice running down our chins, staining them a bright orange, we all looked like orange beard, and not bluebeard!!!

We went to Maracas yesterday, taking every opportunity to go to the beach before we leave Trini at the end of June. It also stops us from lazing around all day doing nothing. The plan was to have bake and fish for brunch as we had left without having breakfast. We had all got up a bit late as we had been at Mariele's son's birthday party the day before and had stayed til 10.30 pm. That was a lovely afternoon and evening, the kids were happy playing games and swimming and the adults were liming. A lot of Spanish was spoken as Mariele and Javier are from Bolivia and their friends came from other S American countries- Bolivia, Peru and Colombia. One of the friends even recognised Dave and started to talk to Dave in Spanish and Dave looked up blankly, until he was reminded about the meeting they had attended together nearly a year ago! The beer was flowing, the barbecue lit and kids were having a go at the chocolate fountain.

Back to the beach- we got our bakes and sharks, Mitch and I had potato pie and shark for a change, sat in the car, and it could almost be a scene out of any English coast side, sat in your parked car, eating your packed sandwiches and admiring the view in the rain! Of course, we weren't in England, it was far too hot for that, and the rain was a torrential downpour and we were having bake and shark with pepper sauce... hehehehe

The rain abated and our stomachs full, we strode off to the beach, the waves were great, about 1.5-2m high and we had a lovely time jumping the waves and body surfing, til Dave was overcome by a wave and managed to do some acrobatic antics in the water that left him with an injured knee! No more waves for him.. out he hobbled, trunks nearly revealing a builder's bum, not that he was in any state to care, and me, chasing after him saying, what's happened, what's happened, I asked Mitch and and I heard him say Daddy's got to pee! What he actually said was, daddy's hurt his knee...... sigh, guess we're not that young anymore and every tumble we take, we fall hard as we're not as flexible as we used to be. Actually, I woke up this morning with a strained neck, and it must have been when the waves crashed over me and I was pulled under, but thought nothing of it at the time.

Dave out of the sea, ice on knee, he was happy to read his book. Kids and I still in the sea and Mitch spotted some friends of ours, Sam and Harry, Matthew and Adam... so, Trisha and Iain, Cathy and Alan, Dina and Jeremy, Becky and Sean and another couple we didn't know were there too. We soon joined them and the kids all had a great time till it was time to go, as Mitch still had some homework to complete. It was the longest I have ever stayed in the sea, and had gone back in several times and I think I may have overcome my fear of the sea, another thing to be thankful for!

We got home, and as usual, went to the back yard to shower all the sand off and jump into our pool, not ours for much longer. We had taken some mangoes to the beach, but not eaten them, so we tossed them all in the pool, for a game of dive and find a mango. Jas found many and put them on the side, and Mitch threw them all back in! I just found some and started eating them! Soon we were all eating them, again the juice making orange beards and moustaches. It was sheer bliss. I said to Dave..... why do we have to go??? Never having eaten so many mangoes in one go, in a pool and they were free mangoes too, life seemed all too good to be true!

Today, I finally got the car's certified copy of registration, and whilst I was waiting, I caught the eye of another Chinese girl who was also there last week. I was about 6 places in front of her in the queue. I was seen in 30 minutes, and after another 10mins, I walked out with my precious piece of paper. As I passed the Chinese girl, she asked me, did you get through? Hahahahaha, I knew what she meant, unlike 9 months ago, when I did not know what people meant when I was asked, you getting through? I had visions of me being a ghost and getting through object and people LOL. So, I told her, yes, I got through, and it was only our 5th visit!!! LOL.

I saw the girl again, about an hour later, as I had gone home to discover that I had left my novel behind and had to go back!!!!!! She was still waiting and I hope she managed to get her cert too.

I had a very productive day today, I did part of the housework before the school run, did the car thing, home for breakfast and more housework, back to the car place for my book, off to the bank to pay the Canadian Visa fees, had lunch with the lovely Jill, bought a dress for Jasmine, a top for myself,picked up kids from school, came back, finished off the housework, and cooked up a storm.... I could get used to being a housewife........

Life is a changing

Since my last post, things are a changing. Changing? What? Again? Yes, again, but then that is life though, isn't it? Nothing in life is permanent. People age, as I know very well having celebrated my 44th birthday today, my children continue to grow and develop at an alarming rate, the seasons change, moving on to the rainy season here soon, mangoes on the tree ripen and fill my tummy with delight and so on and so forth.

So, what has been happening? Not a lot, I was minding my own business, helping out at Moksha, even managed to drag Dave to a couple of classes which he didn't enjoy, unfortunately, but did feel some benefit from. I continued to play receptionist at Mamatoto, being mum, wife, children's taxi, going to Yoga, walking with friends and neighbours, enjoying the life I had adopted since moving to Trinidad.

Then about 10 days ago, I had a call from Dave, who was at work, and I could tell he had something important to tell me, he started the conversation by saying, how are you? how's your day going? what you been up to? BUT I could hear an edge to his voice, I could also hear that he was outdoors. I replied, doing the housework, mopping the floors, had cleaned at Yoga and then did a class etc etc. Then he said, they want me to go to Canada! Wooooahhhh boy!!! Steady on.....

So, my life is about to change again. I should be used to this, after all, I am MRS Change, the poltergeist in the house, I would change the furniture round in the house at a whim, not consulting anyone, changed the colour of the walls if I got bored, so much so, that Dave would swear that there was a poltergeist in the house. I would move things around when he was at work or asleep and he would return to find his favourite chair in another space!!! Once I even changed our bedroom, we were at the front of the house, and when he got back from work, we were sleeping at the back LOL.

I guess this time round, I had set my mind on being in Trinidad for 2 years, even though I knew that it was not guaranteed, I didn't think that I would be moving before the 1st year was up. It's another upheaval for the kids, we are now fairly settled here, I have been made to feel so welcome by the locals, forged many friendships with my neighbours and also the girls from the asian ladies group. Not to mention the friends I have made at Moksha. I feel so at home here, despite disliking the heat and humidity, the mossies and cockroaches. I am not ready to go, but go we will have to come the end of June.

At this point in writing, nothing is finalised and we may not end up in Canada, we may well be heading home or somewhere else. It's all very unsettling and my heart is heavy. I am stressed, as much as I like change, I also like stability. I am a creature of contradictions!!! I feel tired at the thought of the forthcoming move, I fall asleep and awake after 3-4 hours, staring into the darkness and finding it difficult to get back to sleep and drift in and out of sleep til the dawn breaks, feeling unrefreshed and wondering what the future holds......

Part of me feels excited, another move, another country, more opportunities for the children and for me to return to work. Part of me doesn't want to give up my neighbours and friends I have made here.... who will always be my friends and I will endeavour to keep in touch with. I am dreading the thought of having to make new friends and networks, but I am sure I will be fine and will take this into my stride once I know exactly where we are heading to.

So, this Monday saw me down at the Vehicle and Transport office trying to obtain a certified copy of my car registration with the above mentioned office. When you buy a car in Trini, you have to transfer ownership and pay a fee, then pay another fee for the copy of the registration stating the vehicle is now registered under your name. We bought the car in Sept, 09, it is now May 2010, we still have no certified copy. Not for want of trying , I might add. We have been to that office, queued and got to the front to be told, we can't find it, comeback in a week and we will have it ready. We leave it 5-6 weeks, go back, first thing, 8 am, queue, I'll let you guess what I was told when I got to the desk.... any guesses? Did they have the cert???? Did they heck! It's not here, let me go and ask my supervisor what to do..... comes back, you need to see the chief clerk, take a number and wait to be seen, vehicle on the system, you need to see clerk to get a copy printed out....I seeee.... luckily I brought my iPod, but should I really be listening to it in public? Should I let others see I have an iPod? What if someone tried to rob me the minute I left the office to get to my car???? Reports of recent burglaries is making me paranoid... but those thoughts did run through my head. I overcame them and watched my best of YouTube podcasts, it helped me pass the time.... I also spent some time talking to a pleasant man, also on another visit, waiting to see the clerk, doing a favour for a friend and it wasn't his 1st visit either .. hahahahaa. We had an interesting conversation and the conclusion was that it could only get better, the systems are out there, to simplify processes and one day, Trinidad would have them, it's not happening soon, but it will happen one day!!!

Before I got to see the clerk, there was some confusion about the order the numbers were being given out, never mind I thought, I have only been here 2 hours, and I know I will be asked to come back again, as they have nothing for me, just as they had nothing for Dave 5 weeks ago. The chief clerk was very apologetic, and said, it has not been done, I am sorry, come back next week and it will be done. it's on the system you say? Just needs a copy printing? Can you do it now? Oh, No, we do not print now, we have other people who will do the printing when the office is closed and I promise you, you will have your copy in a week, just come back to see me. Ok, I said. Well?? What else could I say??? Thank goodness I am not working, and do not have to take time off to do this kind of thing, which most of the people in the queue did in order to be told to return, take another morning off... to be fair, some people did walk away with what they came for.

There was a sign there that tickled me, it said, research clerk counter will be closed at 2pm in order for us to do more research!!!! Had me in fits and giggles. Oh well... I have a strange sense of humour.

Will I get this certified copy next Monday? Will we be going to Canada???? Till the next blog......

Asian Ladies Lunch Club

In all my years of being abroad, this is the first time I have had so many Malaysian and Asian friends. I had lived in the UK for 20 years, and had 3 friends from Nursing from Malaysia, Shan, who is still in the UK and living in Essex, we were flatmates for 2 years and got quite close, Jan who left for Australia many years ago and June who lives in Cardiff. I have lost touch with all but Shan. They were friends from home that I had met in Bristol. In Nottingham, I chanced upon Jeannie, the most wonderful of people, also from Penang and was a colleague at the Out of Hours service that we worked for. We met and became really close in a short space of time after the initial testing the water with the toe stages, but once the water was fine, we dove in deep and long! I taught her how to knit and improve her techniques and she cooked and fed me til I was the size of a baby hippo. She cried when I told her I was leaving the UK to come to Trinidad, and I felt so guilty for upsetting her, even though I cried too. It will only be for 2 years....

I was introduced to the ladies club by Ima, a fellow Malaysian, married to a Brit called Dave who is a fishitarian, what a coincidence, similarities end there I am afraid, she's Malay, I'm Chinese, she's petite, I'm a hippo, she's soft and gentle, I'm a bull in a china shop, she's shy, I'm loud and brash LOL. In any case, my first lunch club was nice, I didn't really know anyone, but it was all very pleasant. They are all camera mad though, and just love taking pictures with their cameras. I, on the other hand, am not so photogenic and shy away from the cam at all costs, declaring that taking a pic of me would break their camera, so take at your own peril!

Through Asian ladies I have met and made many friends, some close ones, and feel so privileged. We are all in a foreign country and it is so lovely to be with friends from home who share the same language, cultural background and quirks and sense of humour and love for food!!!! Being in Trinidad has given me this wonderful opportunity and I want to thank the person who started the Asian Ladies club, she has since moved to better pastures, but the spirit of what she started is very much alive. It is great to know you have friends from home even in a strange country. If ever you feel homesick or frustrated, there is someone who will truly understand and help you through tougher days... I did not have this in the UK, just did not mix in the correct circles I guess, or perhaps I subconsciously stayed away from any clubs of any kind, for whatever reason. It's really great, though I do not think I would search for a club should I return to the UK. I truly believe in Karma, and I guess Karma dictated that I meet up with all these wonderful women.

Thought I'd better mention that we come from many asian countries and will attempt to list them all - Burma( Myanmar), India, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Pakistan, Singapore, Taiwan, Thailand. Hope I've listed them all, Evy, the current co-ordinator will correct me if I've missed any.

Anyway, we had a great lunch at my house today, and everyone who came brought a dish and we had the most amazing spread. Ima and I had invited some of our friends and neighbours and they brought their dishes too.... far too much food, but who cares, we all ate and enjoyed each others company and had a blast.

There are 4 Malaysians who attend the lunches most months, Ima, Chik Mee, Mahani and I, and boy oh boy, when we get together we get raucous and loud and just can't help fooling around and laughing til our bellies ache. Mahani is such a scream, she should start a blog or even write a book! We apologise for our rudeness should we descend into ourselves and start talking in Malay, or Chinese, reassuring those around us that we are not talking about them, well, mostly we are not, sorry , norty , norty ... seriously though, we are not hahahahaha

To all my Asian Ladies Club friends, thank you so much for accepting me into your group and sharing with me, it's so very refreshing and I hope we will continue to be friends, even when we leave Trini .

Being with Dave

Thought I'd take a break from NYC, and write some mushy stuff down as Dave and I will have been married 15 years in 6 days time. Some would say you'd do less time for murder LOL, a life sentence.... why does it have to be negative? People joke about it, but are they really joking or is there a grain of disappointment in their comments? Being with the same person for years and years? For a person like me, that thrives on change, can it work? Will it work? Will I be bored? Get bored? Will we last the test of time?

You know what? I've been with Dave now for 18 and a half years and I feel very lucky. I am not easy to live with and the early years were very rocky. Very rocky indeed. There was the cultural thing, the I don't smoke and drink thing and so why should you? The why can't we do everything together thing, the what do you mean you need time to yourself and male bonding walking weekend thing and a whole load of other things, or perhaps I should say tings, as we are now living in T n T lol. I thought now that I've found him, I didn't want to lose him, I worried about his health, how much he drank, how much he smoked, I worried about him killing himself on that fast bike of his, I was jealous of how much time he was spending with his friends instead of me, I was so scared of losing him. Took me a while to realise that I was going to lose him if I continued trying to control his life, instead of sharing it.

I was very immature in the whole relationship thing, having not had any boyfriends or relationships till I was 23. I did not want to share, I wanted to keep Dave to myself, he had to be with me 24-7. I guess it boiled down to my insecurities and there's a lot of those for one reason or another. I was behaving like a girl and not a woman. I was listening to Jase and Taska, 2 DJs on the morning show on 107.1 FM and they talked about relationships and asked listeners if they were girls or women when it came down to relationships. Fundamentally, a girl would sit and wait for the boyfriend, expect the boyfriend to spend all his time with her, try to control the relationship, showing all the signs of insecurity. The woman on the other hand would be mature in her outlook, had her own life and the boyfriend fitted in to her life and not vice versa, the woman was confident and was not going to be anybody's fool. In all reality, I do not think it can be as clear cut as that. A mix of girl/woman would be ok and perhaps even ideal.

I'd like to think that I have moved on from being a girl and am now a woman with a few girl like elements still within. On reflection, I really believe that if it wasn't Dave that I was with, it would have ended long ago. He is such a rock and a star, hehehe a rock star. He has the patience of a saint. He is not without flaws, he's human after all, a super human to have been with me so long.... LOL. When we had a row, it would really be only me rowing, argument, only me arguing, he would not retaliate, which frustrated me even more, and I would give him the cold shoulder treatment for a few days which he hated, then we would talk and make up. Painful early days , but necessary I guess, he showed and taught me how it could and should work.

Here's some funny bits. We met at the hospital swimming pool and our friends all know that he spotted me swimming, was attracted by my physique slicing through the water and continued to perve me til that fateful day when he was swimming next to me. I was oblivious to his existence until then. His chat up line, "Do you get problems with water in your ears too?" And that was that, it was the 16th of October, 1991. Oh, I forgot, when Dave found out I was from Malaysia, he didn't really know where that was, like a lot of Brits I know, and I drew out a map of Asia, to show where Malaysia was. I got quite good at it, far better than when I was at school, Mrs Chandra you would be so proud of me LOL. Dave went home and did some homework, looking in the Encyclopedia Britannica to learn all about Malaysia and discovered it was a Muslim country and had visions of my father forcing his hand in marriage. He breathed a sigh of relief when he discovered I was a Buddhist. But drew a sharp breath in when I told him my dad collected knives and had a lovely collection of them. Slight improvement there. Not!!!!

Our relationship went at breakneck speed, and Dave had moved in with me within 2 months, and we had bought a house together by 10 months. In retrospect, it was too fast and I'm sure contributed to a lot of the problems we had in the early years. I took Dave home to see the folks and my large extended family and we had 6 weeks of relatives, including the dead ones during the all souls day celebrations, he helped clear the graves, tidy and refreshen the paint on the tombstones. It was at that point I think that my parents began to love him more than me! The pressure to get me married was on but we could not do anything about it as Dave was still married, shock, horror. Not really, he was separated from his 1st wife but was still legally married. That was another thing that bothered me tremendously, and the poor man was pressured to get divorced, which he did in all fairness, a do it yourself divorce. So, now he was divorced, my parents were like, well, what you waiting for? I was not about to get married just cos they want me to, though I had asked Dave on Valentines Day in 1992, a Leap Year and he had said yes! In the end, we decided to get married but did not want to wait too long and was going to get married in 5 weeks , told the folks, and they said,"Why so soon? " lol, after 3.5 years of pressure, why so soon????? It seems, I can't win. And no, there was no bun in the oven, I was not pregnant, Mitchell wasn't born for another 3 years.

So, why get married? We were happy together, had lived for 3.5 years together, got a house full of stuff, what was a marriage cert going to change? It did change, we seemed to grow together now, happier than ever. It was weird, I really did not think it would make a difference at all, but it did, for the better. Perhaps it gave me the reassurance and confidence that Dave did want to be with me, that I was the one for him.

The years roll on, Mitchell arrived then Jasmine, we bungled along, especially when we moved to Nottingham and had to make a whole new network of friends and work and the like. I had a funny few months when we first moved but Dave, once again, was rock solid, having a completely new job, a post grad course undertaken and a mentally unstable wife at home! Have I said how lucky I am? I am so very lucky.

More years pass, football training, matches, ballet, tap and modern lessons, performances, tennis lessons, school runs, helping out in class at school, trampolining, swimming, ice skating. Our days were filled by children activities and work. Living in Beeston close to family had it's advantages, we were able to escape to Paris on our own and had a really great time. I guess Dave and Suyin time wasn't happening that much due to childcare and work commitments but when it did, we made the most of it. I will leave the subject about my parenting skills for another post!!

Today, we find ourselves in the Caribbean, Dave's in Anguilla for a few days, and will be back tomorrow. He's working very hard. We were offered a posting in Trinidad, we weren't looking to leave England. We thought very hard about whether we should seize this opportunity or stay safe in our safe jobs at home. It was a joint decision, as a Libran, Dave was often indecisive, but on this occasion, he seemed to leap at the chance of working and living in another country, one with sunshine, warmth and beaches all year round, it was all sounding very attractive. So, we will be celebrating our 15th anniversary in Trinidad.

I love Dave more than ever and hope he feels the same about me. Our marriage is stronger than ever, though this is not a guarantee that we will be together til death do us part. What have I learnt over the last 15 years? I have learnt to let go, to be more patient, to try and sort problems out as soon as possible. Though I am very lucky, I still have to work at it, never taking anything for granted, never taking advantage and supporting each other as best we know how.

Love is very important, and love Dave I do, and I am very lucky ( did I say that already?) to be loved back unconditionally. Truly unconditionally.

The Big Apple part 2, Ice Skating

After 2 days on the tour buses, with some experience of using the LIRR- Long Island Rail thingy, and subway, we were ready to go exploring ourselves. Before we left, we had made a list of things that we wanted to do and things that we would shop for. We said that we would let M and J do some things that were not available in Trinidad, eg- ice skating, bowling, go-karting, going to a 'show' ( Lion King, Mary Poppins etc). We were going to shops for all sorts, credit cards at the ready LOL.

So, there we were, in the hustle and bustle of Time Square, people q-ing for tickets, all the billboards blinking images at us, the theatres in Broadway, 42nd St, advertising what was on...... the kids took no notice. Offers of, wouldn't you like to go see Beauty and the Beast, Hairspray, Lion King, was greeted with no enthusiasm on their part. But we've already seen Lion King, mummy. OK, OK, what about the rest... no reply yet again, clearly not interested at all! I'm on to a winner here, credit card stays safe in wallet!

What would you like to do then? We want to go to Central Park, Ice Skate, the Natural History Museum, buy a Nerf gun , skateboard and maybe some games. We went to the Rockefeller Centre and watched people skate, we wanna do that mum, please. I had not brought any spare clothes for them and so, we compromised and said, tomorrow. Let's go explore Central Park....and go to the zoo! Off we went, I love Central Park but the kids loved it more, they felt free to roam, run, jump, climb the rocks and they did not get too hot or flustered, oh, how they have missed the parks at home, the cooler, less oppressive weather and the freedom to run and play in open spaces. The zoo was puny, by zoo standards but still great, the seal feeding show was fantastic, and they recognised the zoo clock with all the moving parts from the Madagascar movie, but there was no Alex in the zoo, nor any big animals apart from the Polar bear and seals.

After the zoo, we explored Central Park a bit and found the ice skating rink there, and said we would come back tomorrow to skate. Which is exactly what we did. The weather was getting decidedly warmer, and we could see a reflection of the buildings surrounding the park on the surface of the rink, it was a pretty picture. Due to this unusually mild weather, the ice was melting and there was a sheet of water on the rink, skates were making little waves as they moved along the ice. I looked at the rink and then Jasmine and Mitch and said, you sure you want to do this? It's very wet and if you fall, you could be soaked, yes we do, they chorused. Dave was not too sure and I said I'm not bothered about skating, I will look after all our shopping! We had gone shopping for clothes earlier and had 2 huge carrier bags full of clothes, mainly for Dave. We said, OK, you both look after each other, and at the last minute, I persuaded Dave that he needed to go too, to look after them both, esp Jasmine, who's not too great on the ice. I suspected that Jas would need Dave's help and as he was the more experienced skater between the 2 of us, he would go. I would add at this point that he was not overly delighted at this prospect, considering how wet the rink was and also the risk of falling and hurting himself, in addition, getting wet if he should fall was not looking at all appealing.

A short note on ice skating. About 4 years ago, the children had ice skating lessons at the Ice Centre in Nottingham. Lessons were on a Sunday, starting at 7.30am, we dragged ourselves out of bed on a Sunday for many months, Mitch was getting on well, Jas was very nervous and not a natural. They had borrowed skates initially and then I got some of their own from eBay. Mitch had some ice hockey skates and Jas had some white leather ones, which she assured me would make the world of difference, as the blue skates were not the proper ones. See how indulgent I am, I knew it wasn't the skates, but just in case I was wrong, I bought her the magic white skates.....they hurt less, they looked the part, they were the right skates, now the question is, will they improve her skating????

Off they went, on the wet ice, water everywhere, Jas emerged first, clinging on to the sides, not going anywhere fast. Then Mitch, skating of a fashion, gliding along but not overly confident. Then Dave, relaxed but somehow not really enjoying it as he usually does, worried about falling I guess. It was a lovely sight, all the skaters on the ice, some trying to do fancy turns, others falling over and getting soaked, all on a sunny spring day, the weeping willows swaying gently in the breeze and drooping over the rink. The skyline dotted with tall buildings, Ahhhh, I could live in this city!!!!

Skating not going too well, Jas was encouraged off the sides, falls and falls again, very wet, had to get up on her own, then she was off the ice and back to me, clothes changed, getting dry and apologetic as she felt she had wasted money on the skating. I told her not to worry, we were happy for her to have the experience and that the mild weather was unfortunate, we hugged and though she was still feeling low, she cheered up slightly.

In the BIG APPLE

We just love open top double decker tour buses, and have hopped on a few of these in most of the big cities we have visited. I have even done the one in Bristol! LOL. We decided that as we did not know NYC and that it was huge and also we had no one to show us, we would spend at least one day on the buses. We have always found them to be informative and it kinda gives you a whistle stop tour of the city you're visiting, allowing hops on and off and it runs all day etc etc. In the end we got a 48 hour pass, which allowed us on all routes, Uptown to the Bronx, Downtown to the Battery Park and Staten Island Ferry, and Brooklyn, which also included the night loop- tour to Brooklyn.

We were slightly mis sold the tours, were told we could hop on and off til 10pm, which was not correct, in order to find a stop for the buses, we had to look for bus stops with the Gray Line bus on it, this too was inaccurate. We had all these niggles sorted on the 2nd day, and managed to talk to a manager to voice our complaints. He was very apologetic, tried to make things right for us, and we were placated but felt slightly cheated by the whole thing. Tour guides were spouting loads of interesting information about architecture, a bit of history, anecdotes about the entertainment world, where the stars lived and where movies and television series were filmed. I must say, I switched off a bit when they talked about the celebrities, it's not something Dave and I are interested in....being told which building Spiderman was in when he was bitten by the spider was crazy, it's fiction, a comic strip and not in the least real!!! Not all the tour guides did this which made it better for us. Most would tell us something about themselves, where they grew up, they talked about their families and neighbourhoods. Trying to make it real I guess, inter spaced with celebrity talk. All a bit weird. The calibre of the different guides were questionable, some openly touting for tips, stating that the tips were their pay. I found this a bit rich considering I had just handed over nearly 200USD for the tours. The buses were always packed, so who was getting that fare? One guy was so bold to suggest how much we were to tip... USD30-50, and if we didn't feel to do so, please contact head office to state why!!! I think he meant it as a joke, but did he????

OK, enuf moaning for a bit.. the weather was glorious, it was dry, very pleasantly cool, the trees were bursting into life and I felt like I had come home LOL. We spent the first 3-4 hours with our necks craned, looking up at all the skyscrapers, and tall buildings, it seemed never ending, and all beautifully finished, the older buildings with hand carved stonework. The cast iron columns that made up the first pre fab buildings of the city were beautiful too, despite having high maintenance, ensuring the rust was kept at bay and not staining the walls. A British artist had installed his clay naked men on top of buildings in Midtown, bringing back memories for me as I'd seen them in London only 2 years ago . There was one on top of the Flat Iron building. He has installed 31 of these sculptures on top of other buildings in NYC and they will be there til August. I knew about Antony Gormley's work and asked the tour guide about them... he said, they've been here for years, more than 20.... I let this pass and and then thought to myself, whether these so called tour guides really did know anything about their beautiful city, or was it just all make believe, had I stepped into Disneyland by mistake???


The buildings..... The Empire State Building, The Chrysler Building, The Rock, 3 of the most famous sky scrapers I think, all very beautiful. We had planned to go up the ESB, but at the last minute, the kids decided they didn't want to go.. this was on the day we had travelled in earlier before the queues got too bad. As luck would have it, trains were delayed, and as we got into Penn Station, the train stopped and we waited, and waited and waited, there was a signalling problem, staff were at ground level trying to sort it out, trains were seen leaving but we could not proceed. The staff aboard the train was very apologetic and kept us informed about what was happening. All in all I think we waited for about 45 mins, making the usual 40 minute journey a 1 hour and 25 min journey. Passengers were making calls, explaining where they were, one young man got irate, started pacing up and down the train, saying how much longer, why are trains leaving but we are stuck. He was very unsettled, muttering to himself with a slightly crazed look in his eye. M and J just looked at us, and we smiled back, trying to reassure them. Towards the end of the wait, we were told that NYC police were on board to help calm the situation! It was all calm apart from this one disturbed individual, I guess it was reassuring for the rest of the passengers. After this long wait, the M and J decided that they did not really want queue to go up the buildings.

There were also some interesting sculptures, metal ones, in red dotted around the city, mainly in front of some important buildings I guess, but none of the guides said anything about them. I will post some of the pics here. We saw a lot of interesting artwork, graffiti being one, but alas did not venture into MOMA, will have to save that for the next trip. We did not do many of the museums but did do the Natural History Museum. The native American rooms were great, and as Mitch had just been studying about the Canadian natives, it brought it to life for him, life sized totem poles and weapons and other artifacts that he had been reading about and doing a project on.

We did hop on and off the buses and even did the night loop to Brooklyn, the weather was warm but as the sun disappeared over the horizon, the temperature fell and it got quite chilly on top of open bus! We braved the cold and it was a glorious view, of the Brooklyn Bridge, as we drove across the Manhattan Bridge, a double decker affair, with the rail travelling along under the road. Brooklyn's newer, had less tall buildings but nonetheless lovely architecture. Was lovely to see the NYC skyline looking on from the other side of the river. As we were travelling along, 2 young women in front of me started to eat some snacks, and were throwing their rubbish over the side of the bus. Self-righteous as I am, and I freely admit to it, I was appalled. they kept doing it, so I tapped on on her shoulder and said, give me your rubbish, I will dispose of it for you, I don't think she understood English very well, because she offered me the snacks! She probably thought I wanted some hahahahaha. She was eating monkey nuts and throwing the shells overboard, so I said, no thanks, I just want you to give me your rubbish, because I don't want you to litter the city!!!! She handed me the rubbish and promptly stopped eating hehehe. I am such a terror!

Time for a break, don't want to bore the pants of you now, do I?

Getting into the USA

This is the deal. Even though I have lived in the UK for the last 20 years, and married to a Brit,I am still Malaysian, no British passport. Therefore, in order to get into USA soil, I need a VISA, a non-immigrant, non working, visitors VISA. No problem, will go onto the US Embassy website for TnT and get all the info I need. It's an all singing and dancing website. You fill in your forms on line, then print it out, make the appoiment on line too, all instructions on paying the fees , all there, what documents to bring with you etc etc, it's all there. Great, fantastic, everything's ready.

I trot off to the embassy with all my receipts, forms and documents, and photographs. Get to appointment on time, was in a room full of people, all trying to get a VISA. My turn came, window E please, faced with a pleasant young man. He looks through all the forms, and starts firing a barrage of questions at me, I try my best to keep up. He then asks for my children's birth certificates, which incidentally I have in TnT but just not with me at that moment, as it was not one of the documents the website said to bring. I voiced this and man became irate, said I am not talking about the website...... ooooh, excuse me,but the website was my guide for what documents to bring.... he said he was trying to establish my marital relationship with my Dave, marriage cert in front of him,married 28th APRIL, 1995!!!! Anyhow, stumbled through that hurdle and as abruptly as he was questioning me,he approved the VISA, YIPPEEEEEEE!!!

Tickets booked,paid for,we are on the plane,OK flight delayed but we are on our way. We had to fill out some landing cards which we did , we got into the queue for immigration, and it was a looong queue,we snaked along, perhaps snailed alone, a it took 1.5 hours to get to the front! Finally, we get to get out of the airport..... or do we??? We are facing the immigration officer, he had a Spanish name. Young, smart in his uniform , dark hair and eyes, tanned skin, good looking but a bit on the small side, definitely not my type.. perhaps he sensed this, took him all about 5 seconds to look at our passports, and say, 3 of you have filled in the wrong form, you, pointing at me, with the VISA, you're OK, you got the right form. What form do we need? The green one,not the white one,OK, have you got some of those forms? No, I haven't, says the officer..... you need to go all the way to the back to fill them out.... Dave says, you kidding me? We have just waited in line for almost 2 hours. Officer calm- all the way back to get forms to fill, then come straight back to the front and I will deal with you all. Phew!

Forms filled, we trudge back to the front, pushing in front of others and feeling like a queue jumper, like the lowest of the low,as we know how long they've had to queue to get to the front. So, a sense of De ja vue descending on us, nice, young immigration officer, so why do you want to come to the United States? Holiday, see some friends,but most importantly,because my daughter wants to go to McDonald's as there aren't any in Trinidad,where we are living at the moment. This was said tongue in cheek, as I was fed up with all the delays and was being facetious. Well, maybe not facetious, but was kinda joking, I needed some laffs, even if it were only me that was laffing. Immigration officer,in a serious voice, so, no Maccy Ds in trini, so, how do you know about Mc Donald's? LMAO boy oh boy. What can one say? Are you serious??? Uhmmmm. Because we have McDs in the UK????? and Malaysia, and Singapore and Germany, France, Belgium, (just naming a few of the countries we've been to), it gets advertised in TnT because we have US channels on TV???? Satisfied with our answers, and after some swish finger print scanning we were let loose.... to collect our luggage and venture out to the Big Apple...... the feeling of relief was immense.

We had a taxi waiting for us to take us to Great Neck where we were staying at a friend's apartment. Saw our first yellow taxi, and they were mostly Lincolns I think, not like the old yellow taxis in the Taxi sitcom. It was warmer than I expected it to be, pleasant coolness that I have so missed since leaving England, and on the journey to the apartment, I felt like I could have been in England, apart from the cars all driving on the wrong side of the road! The flora was similar, blossom trees in bud, waiting to burst into a mass of pink/ white, magnolia trees with velvety pink buds, trees with green buds waiting patiently before displaying the lovely delicate first green leaves of the season, daffodils, spring was definitely in the air.

Our first trip to the US, an adventure has begun........

waiting in for plumbers

So, we have a leak in the kitchen. It is a most peculiar leak, in that it doesn't leak all the time. Some mornings we find a large puddle, just by the cabinet by the cooker. It varies form a small puddle to one extending all the way to the fridge, kitchen sink and beyond. Investigators hat on, Dave goes in search for the source, where is the leak coming from? Initially, I thought it may be the fridge, but that was not the answer. On looking at the wall behind and beside the leak, some rising damp!!!! The leak is within the wall and seeping out under the floors ARGHHHHHHH.
This kinda took about 2 weeks or more, deciding where the leak was coming from, once we were certain, plumbers were called after informing the landlady. First visit-plumber supposed to come at 11, at 1.30pm, he still hadn't showed. I had taken a day off work at short notice to wait in and so I was not well pleased, I could have gone in to work til one and come back had I known he wasn't coming til 2pm!!!! Quick look, yes, yes, confirms leak coming from behind wall. Can't be fixed straight away.
Plan of action- landlady to be told and office to organise sending someone else out to knock wall down and fix leak, well, chip into the wall.
A week later, no call, no news. Must say I was not holding my breath. Finally, I rang them again and asked what was happening as the puddles appeared to be getting bigger and soaking up towels and leaking when it didn't use to leak. Ahhh, they said, landlady abroad, so we haven't informed her..... OK OK, then , plumbers then said , we thought you were going to inform the landlady yourself, OK OK. Patient, very patient. Anyhow, landlady finally contacted, yes, work to be carried out ASAP. Plumbers can come this afternoon, this was Monday... great I say, again not holding my breath.
No surprises- no plumber arrives. Ring, ring, plumbers on the phone, sorry Mrs Jordan, plumbers caught up in another job, can't make it, shall we make it Weds? ( because I was at work Tues). OK, when? First thing in the morning, 8.30? Great. Still not holding breath.
Weds morning comes- 8.30, 9.30, 10.30, no plumber, just Trisha who called in to get her top that I had altered for her. 11.00- still no one, call to plumber, so sorry, beyond my control, will be after lunch now. OK OK... won't be before 2pm, great, OK, come after 2.15 as got to pick kids from school. No problem, Mrs Jordan. Smile serenely down the phone.
Leave to go to Pricesmart to get food and drinks for the lime we're having on Friday.
In queue to pay, phone goes, Mrs Jordan? Yes? Plumbers, great, we going to be at yours in 10-15 mins, not so great! Ummmm, am not at home. Can we call you back? Of course.

Cutting this now, they never came on Weds, but finally on Thursday, 8.40am- plumbers here, yippeee, hurrahhh, do a cartwheel as was in warrior 2 position anyhow lol.
All fixed by 11.00 but now awaiting plasterers to come repair wall. Friends have had to collect kids from school for me, lucky for friends eh? What would I do without them. Have made many since coming to Trini, and will miss them all when I leave. Some have already left the paradise island for better pastures and this makes island life pretty transient.

Even our kitten Lola, much loved by us all, has gone, can't believe she's gone, but gone she is, 2 weeks now, not a sign of her anywhere in the neighbourhood. Could she have heard us talking about New York? About leaving her for the summer as we were going back to the UK? How quickly we become attached, I miss her walking in between my legs when I am cooking in the kitchen, I miss stroking her soft fur, I miss her cute face, the kids miss her too, hopefully she's OK, she's found a better home ........

Brown eyed girl

Van Morrison singing Brown Eyed Girl was playing on my iPod after the school drop. I was on my way to yoga.....a smiling face flashed in my mind, it was Randall Lewis. He was the Headmaster of M and J's primary school, Round Hill and he died just over a year ago from heart failure, whilst awaiting a heart transplant. It brought so many memories back, of the wonderful times my children had at Round Hill, about how approachable he was, how he always had a big smile he had on his face, about how he knew all the children's names, he was truly a wonderful man. He touched the lives of many and will always be in the hearts of those fortunate enough to have met him.

Jasmine can't listen to this song as Randall used to sing it, he played on a band and had performed this song many a time at school dos and it's also a song on the Round Hill CD of school songs and performances.

Life is short, shorter for some and it does seem like only the good die young. Of course this is not true, Janet, my mum-in-law turned 80 yesterday and she too is the most wonderful person, warm, loving, generous, non- judgemental and ever so patient. So, some of us live long...Dave's dad to saw he's 80th birthday, which was a great celebration, with the family all converging in Centre Parcs. He died shortly after a short bout of cancer which was very sad, but he had a good innings, some would say.

As the song was playing, tears came to my eyes, remembering the good times, and grieving for the lost ones never to be experienced as Randall had passed. They say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, and how very true this is. We were very privileged to have met Randall and for him to have influenced our children. His wife Jane said to us after the memorial event the school had for the children that she now understood why they did so much in the few years they had together, living their lives at breakneck speed, trying to squeeze in as much as possible. They had not known that he had problems with his heart then, this was her observation in retrospect.

When I had reached yoga, parked the car, I sent Dave a text saying please don't die on me! I am not afraid of death, we all have to die sometime, it's who's left behind that I worry about. Worrying is not productive though, and so the best thing to do would be to be proactive, have a vague plan as to what would happen if one of us dies and the children are still young. We have a will, so that's a start I guess. No one wants to think about death, though death comes to us all eventually. Here's a link to the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdS262pegkQ&feature=fvsr

On a happier note, on the way back from yoga, the traffic had stopped, there was a lame pigeon in the road, nearly in the middle and cars were trying to miss hitting it as it wasn't getting out of the way, I stopped for the on coming traffic to negotiate the obstruction, one drove round it, the next drove over it, making sure the wheels would miss it. I then drove on and on looking in my rear view mirror, I noticed the first car that passed the bird had stopped and the driver, a man, was getting out, he approached the pigeon and my heart was lifted, to see compassion for another living being, I guess I should have stopped myself, to help, but part of me was thinking, end the poor animal's suffering. In any case, as the man approached the bird, it took flight and flew off, so, I was wrong to want to end it's suffering, it could still fly, and hopefully survive a while longer........ moral? Do not write off what seems like a non starter, because it may just surprise you yet.

Dress to short?

So, today, Wednesday, just had a lovely morning with Dina, a neighbour, it was the first time I have been to her house. She's Ukrainian and is married to Jeremy, an American and has 2 boys, Michael and George. We chatted freely from dieting to marital problems LOL. I like her a lot and think we will become good friends in time to come.

I had to do the shopping next, so came home, swept the floor, played bejewelled, I know, I know, I'm addicted. Well, famville was playing up and I couldn't be bothered with it, so bejewelled it was. We are having friends over for dinner tonight, traditional roast dinner. Shopping had to be got, chicken, veges, chipolatas, bacon, potatoes...... Roast chicken, pigs in blankets, cauliflower cheese, broccoli, carrots, snow peas, and roast potatoes for the meat eaters, and some tilapia in butter, cream for Dave. Debbie loves pork, and so do the kids, so I'm also going to roast some belly pork alongside the chicken. What to have for starters? Probably some bruschetta with tepanade, and tomatoes perhaps. Chocolate for dessert.
Showered and dressed in a short dress, I was ready to leave, was gonna wear this dress but it kept falling of my bust, must have toned up in that area, so had to get changed! Wore one of Dave's favourite dresses of mine, short mock wrap style with ties at the back, black and cream patterned... it came to about 6 inches above my knees. Off I drove to the shops in my kitten healed toe post mules. When I got out to cross the road, as I had parked in the mall car park, traffic stopped for me, strange? Then I got looks, from both men and women, women who took a double take, is that dress too short for Hi-Lo? Men just blatantly staring, ooh, I sure felt like a hussy. Hehehehehe. I took note, straightened my back, walked tall into Hi-Lo and did the shopping, trying to ignore the looks I was continuing to get.

Shopping done, next to the mall, had to get Mitch some construction supplies for his project- building a village. I walked tall, with a purpose, no dilly dallying, got the craft stuff , then off to find the dark chocolate for pudding. Peppercorns, next stop, found the chocs, paid and left. On way back to car, walking the full length of the mall, again looks, this time an older Chinese gent was looking straight at me, I smiled and got a smile back- how lovely, perhaps he thought I was a hooker, but I didn't care hahahaha.

On my way back to the car, I spot a familiar face, Simon who was working in Tobago til recently, and now back in Trinidad. Hugs and kisses exchanged, chatted briefly and off home I trotted.

So, what's the verdict? Dress too short? Hmmmmmmmm.....
(Top picture is of the dress, well, the top half of the dress)

6 months on...

So, 6 months have come and gone in a flash, we've now been in Trinidad for more than 6 months.












We arrived to a lovely house, pool, garden, neighbourhood and have been very lucky to have been welcomed so warmly. They have taken us down the islands, invited us and the family for poncho creme, limes, making pastelles and invited me to exercise with them in the mornings!

Life is great, Dave loves the weather and social lifestyle, the friendliness of the people and willingness to include us in their lives. 'Liming' has become a household word and it just means to spend time with friends, usually with alcohol involved, food, snacks and just enjoying each other's company. Of course I do not drink much, if any, so stick to soft drinks and providing the food..... Kids have limes too at their friends, but no alcohol as yet.

I worry about the kids at times, that they are indeed missing home and their friends, and the freedom that they had. They show this in a variety of ways, most obviously by telling us, or their behaviour changes and they are just plain unhappy. We had a phase of this after their Aunt Karen and family and grandma left after having spent 3 weeks with us over Christmas. Alice and Jasmine shared a room as did Dave and Mitch and when they left, a huge chasm seemed to engulf them both.
Being children, and resilient by nature, they have both bounced back and are reasonably happy, but my instincts tell me, that they would be far happier back in the UK. School work is progressing well, Mitchell is a shining star and all his teachers love him, he is producing excellent work and is motivated. He's as sporty as ever, taking up table tennis and rugby here, going mountain biking. Football has fallen by the wayside as has tennis. As for the violin, that has been forgotten.

Jasmine too has finally settled in class and has begun to contribute more and be more chatty at school, starting to fiddle and sometimes letting her mind wander, but is producing great work and continues to progress. She is trying very hard at PE and loves art and goes to pottery after school which she loves. Music wise, school teaches her recorder, and she has said that she misses playing the french horn.
I feel really guilty for the sacrifices my children have had to make because we moved out here. Obviously, they are getting something in return for those sacrifices but I am unsure if it's like for like. They are getting an invaluable experience living in another country and all that entails but are missing out on all the things they could be doing back in the UK....I guess I should try to replace those experiences by involving them in sailing, Trinidad being an island steeped in sailing tradition, and surrounded by seas, it being an island and all LOL.

The one thing that has helped the children tremendously is having some pets, Lola , the kitten being the main pet, and the turtles Tato and Soup. Lola has brought much joy to our lives and we will endevour to bring her home with us, or take her to where ever we go next.

One of our objectives when Dave accepted this posting was to try to reduce our debt back in the UK, we seemed to be living beyond our means, despite us both earning a decent wage, we were still playing catchup for the 1st 2 years we were in Nottingham where we took a huge pay cut. Well, it has not happened, 6 months have passed, we have not saved a single penny! In some ways, we are worse off financially! We makes up for this is this is the lifestyle we now have, a 4 bedroomed house with a pool in the garden, my lovely big kitchen, a cleaner once a week for 4 hours, me, not working, well, not working for pay anyhow, being at home with the children, cooking elaborate meals, having peeps round for a lime etc etc.......

Dave, my darling lovely husband has come into himself out here. His self- esteem and confidence have boomed and about time too. I think he is enjoying his work just about as much as the lifestyle here, though as with most people, he could do with more time to do all he wants and has to do. I think he gets more job satisfaction now then he did previously. The stress levels do run high but this is counteracted by the good weather that we have here. This of course is all relative, for me, I'd sooner be cold than warm, and it's hot here. Dave though, loves the heat and sun, having grown up in England and where warmth and sunshine are lacking. Being white also has brought a lot of attention from the local female population, he's hot property being white and loving it..I have reminded him that he is mine though, not a possession but still mine! LOL.

Why can't I put pics where I want them to go instead of all at the top? Going to try something here, oh well it didn't work. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I have posted pics where I wanted to before in my old blog, I wonder why this one won't do it????

Dave's at the cricket today, 20/20 Zim V WI, at the Trine Posse stand, he will be having a ball, he's gone with Debbie, Malcolm, Rob, Jennifer and Enrique.... all inclusive ticket, fun to be had by all!

When you just know

It should actually say when I just know......

When Dave tells me he will leave work at 4 and get home for 5, I just know that he will be late.... I used to get cross, frustrated and angry, but now I don't because I expect it. They say expect the unexpected, but it's less stressful to expect the expected!

When my daughter tells me she will get her bag ready for school the next day, I just know that she won't and that I will have to remind her to do it again, and again and again.

When I ask my son to do something, he will say, I was just about to do that, and I know he wasn't but he feels it will make me think better of him and it does, which makes it work for the both of us. My son is an intelligent soul, he knows how to endear people to him which is a valuable quality to have.

For years and years I used to wait for Dave, wait for him to finish work so we could go swimming together, have lunch together, walk home together, go shopping or so I could give him a lift home. It's sounding like I did not have a life of my own and I spent my life waiting for my conjoined twin to finish work! All this waiting was planned, I didn't wait for him all the time, only if our work schedules matched. Planned waiting you say? Planned waiting? Well, the plan was to meet up and then do things together after work, but somehow, I ended up waiting for him to finish. I wasn't early, he was always snowed under with work.... and after 18 years, things have not changed much apart from I no longer wait. I just carry on without him and he joins us when he can. Progress!

Finding some space

Today, after a lovely meal of savoury pancakes for dinner, a dinner made by everyone in the family, I felt very tired and in need of some peace. I guess PMT is late this month. M and J were behaving well, lots of chatter and they were getting along, which is always lovely. I just needed a few minutes to myself, so, I went to my bedroom, only to be followed by Mitch, the cat and finally Jasmine, so much for me time... LOL. I explained what I needed and they left one by one leaving the cat behind.

Mitch has begun to grow up, first he asked for jeans, never ever wanting to wear them in the past. More recently, he's asked for boxer shorts, always steering clear of these, preferring briefs to shorts. Guess puberty's beginning to kick in and he's getting a bit self- conscious.

Jas too is developing, she has curves but is a bit apple shaped. I have bought her some training bras, but she's not keen on them. She's a pudding and pumpkin, beautiful but a bit overweight. She tends to shy away from physical activity.. we are working on that. Watch this space.

We all had some me time today, Mitch went to the beach with the McKays. Dave played tennis at 4pm, I went to yoga this morning, and what a class it was, am truly knackered. Jasmine had some time alone whilst Dave tried to set up the turbo trainer.

A new week has begun 553 days left in Trinidad.....

I have borrowed a book from Moksha that has some quotations that I like. Have been sharing them on FB.
This one has significance in my life right now,
Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit and resign yourself to the influences of each.... Henry David Thoreau